1. |
Anecdon't
03:00
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I wish I could help you bury your friend
I don't have any anecdotes or cute quotes to make it worth your time
I wish I'd knew his face, wish I heard his voice
But life and God had us walking different sidewalks
I couldn't help wish him well
I couldn't help
We all have a date to meet our Maker
Maybe we missed the memo, maybe he missed it too
I sure wish we had talked before his decisions were made
But time is so linear
It's like a vector proceeding toward the future with vehement speed
I couldn't help wish him well
I couldn't help
I wish we didn't have to say goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
But death is a curse of our kind
But the maker is making it die
Wait and see, wait and see, wait and see
All these souls don't let them go from your memory
Don't let them go
All these souls don't let them go from your memory
From your memory
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2. |
Interrogative
03:55
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I’m so tired of being weak
Watching my conscience fail as you press in
Paralysis: a symptom
Oh, it’s moving so fast
My mind is moving but my body’s not
I’m so tired of being wrong
Where can I find the answers to all these questions?
My head is floating and I’m going nowhere
Don’t tell me you told me so
I still get lost driving around Kingston
People still die getting shot by policemen
Where do you draw the line between insanity and having your head on straight?
Where do you draw the line between right and wrong?
Right and wrong
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3. |
2 Scared
03:19
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I got this bug in my head
Like a fly that I can’t swat
With a face that looks like you
And a smile that I can’t shake
But I won’t tell you
No I won’t tell you
No I won’t tell you
I’m too scared to tell you
And I’m tired of giving up
And leaving you unread on my phone
And I say that I don’t care but I really care too much
So I’ll just stay the treasure lost somewhere deep at sea
And I’ll hope that you’re the diver that finds me there someday
But I won’t tell you
No I won’t tell you
No I won’t tell you
I’m too scared to tell you
No I won’t tell you
No I won’t tell you
No I won’t tell you
I’m too scared to tell you
I got a bug in my head and I wish that it was dead
Trying not to hang on every word you said
I say I don’t care
I just want to pull your hair
But I don’t know
I just don’t know
I just don’t know
I just don’t know
I just don’t know
I got this bug in my head
Like a fly that I can’t swat
With a face that looks like you
And a smile that I can’t shake
But I’ll let you live on like a painting I’m not in
Of a pendulum that swings to the beating of my heart
But I won’t tell you
(No I won’t tell you)
No I won’t tell you
(I’m too scared to tell you)
No I won’t tell you
(No I won’t tell you)
I’m too scared to tell you
(I’m too scared to tell you)
No I won’t tell you
(No I won’t tell you)
No I won’t tell you
(I’m too scared to tell you)
No I won’t tell you
(No I won’t tell you)
I’m too scared to tell you
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4. |
Crime and Punishment
04:28
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I just found out
The way that I show up
Is never how I see myself
I wish that I could be myself
I just found out
The way that I make love
Is pleasing everyone before myself
Giving in and putting out
So I stay close to the ground
I know myself
I always get in trouble
When I'm leaving my bubble
And I always find a way
To go hop in the hay without you
I'm guilty now
I'll confess to all my crime
Yeah, there's no sense being untrue
I like who I am when I'm with you
But that's toxic rain
That falls upon my feels
And poisons me through space and time
There's so much that I won't do
If the punishment fits the crime
Oh no
Here I go again, go again
Flying solo
Without a care in the world if I'm broken
This way
At least I'm getting it, getting it
But I know that I'll pay
I'll sit right here, wait for my punishment, punishment
I feel like a fly on the ceiling
Trying hard not fall through the skylight
I'm drinking, sinking, baby
Clipping both my wings without thinking twice
Lately, the seat belts are off
I'm calling out the elephant
My mind keeps running and racing
I'm sick of the chase
And I wish I could just throw it away
But I won't because
I'm so close to finding it
No sense in hiding it
Calling out the elephant
I'm out of my element
I'll sit right here and wait for my punishment
Oh no
More and more I'm falling in and out of line
Flying solo is so outdated
Overrated now that I'm 25
I wanna soothe
I wanna soothe
I wanna soothe my mind
Full stop
The seat belts are off
I'm calling out the elephant
I'm out of my element
I'll sit right here and wait for my punishment
I stay close to the ground
Always waxing/waning profound
The only time I doubt myself
I wonder why I keep you around
Oh, life's so weird now that I'm 25
Being wrong got me off for the last time
I'm crazy, baby I know myself
I always get in trouble
When I'm bursting your bubble
And I'm sick of finding ways
To avoid and evade the truth
I'm guilty now
I'll confess to all my crime
Yeah, there's no sense being untrue
I like who I am when I'm with you
But that's toxic rain
That falls upon my feels
And poisons me through space and time
There's so much that I won't do
If the punishment fits the crime
If the punishment fits the crime
I'm crazy, baby I know myself
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5. |
Type A
04:47
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I no longer let you ruin my life
I am trying to fix all that myself
Type A
You can’t hurt me again
Type A
Maybe I’ll move on to B
Type A
I no longer let you ruin my life
I am starting to fix all this myself
Type A
You can’t hurt me again
Type A
Maybe I’ll move on to B
And you’ll accept that I’m not there
And you’re with someone else cuz I don’t need you
But the sun will rise tomorrow
And chase away all your sins and shadows
From last night
From my life
Type A
You can’t hurt me again
Type A
Maybe I’ll move on to B
Type A
You can’t hurt me again
No you can’t
No you can’t hurt me again
Type A
Maybe I’ll move on to B
Maybe I’ll move on to B
Maybe I’ll move on to B
Oh maybe I’ll move on to B
Type A
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6. |
Move to the City
02:14
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Move to the city and grow a mustache
And hang with friends ‘til I’m feeling better
But the nights here are different
So I’ll teach myself to pick myself back up
And nobody can tell me
When the clouds start getting heavy
At what point do they turn into rain?
And if it lands on the sidewalk
And rolls itself into the gutter
Do you think that it gets jealous of other rain?
Like the rains over the ocean?
Or the rains deep in the forest?
Or the drops that help all the roses bloom?
But I guess I’m just overthinking
Or projecting some weird metaphor
Cuz it’s sunny outside so I guess that they’ll be fine
I’ll move to the city and grow a mustache
And hang with friends ‘til I’m feeling better
But the nights here are different
So I’ll teach myself to pick myself back up
It’s eleven eleven, so make a wish
But keep me out of this
If this happens again I swear to christ I might just lose my mind
But it’s already gone
Yeah it’s already gone
It’s already gone
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7. |
Inbox is Full
06:17
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*Listen
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8. |
I'm Scared of Guns
03:41
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My name is Derek and I am mentally ill
My brain hurts when I try to see the light
I climb mountains just to sit on the edge
I look down and I fantasize my death
Because it calms me down
Yeah, all the way down
I'm convinced that I can talk to the dead
I hear them planting thoughts inside my head
They make sense and they know too much
Like how I'm scared of guns
I'm scared of guns
The reason is cuz I love solutions
That seem peaceful when I recall my trauma
It scares me because I tried to do it
I'm fighting because I want to live
So shut up
So shut up
I am healthy when I make my own decisions
I am healthy when I'm afraid of guns
I'm scared of guns
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9. |
Have Faith
04:04
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Have faith that I know it matters to another
Have faith that I might understand that
Cuz it’s true and it matters
And it’s you
And the latter is me again
Yeah I might understand that
Like a wave which slowly washes me away
I’m not afraid of my fate
I made it out
Without a doubt I still have faith
Have faith that I hold importance in emotion
Have faith that I might understand myself
Load it up, close it shut, pull it back
Take a good solid look at the facts
Pussy out, point it down, call my mother
Tell my brother that I’m not afraid
To say that this song is gay
Hell yeah I finally said that
Like a storm which firmly washes out my pain
Woah, I’m not afraid of my fate
I made it out
Without a doubt I still have faith
I understand you’re sorry now
But you can’t relate
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10. |
Mind is Full
07:03
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Be mindful, mind is full
Thoughts swimming around in my head like fish in ziploc bags
I've been trying for twenty minutes straight
To grab ahold of just one of them
But I've no luck
Paralyzed, agonized
God help me find my hands
To grab ahold of a single thread
I can follow to the end
Where time flows straight like a channel
Where time flows straight
Finally I can see clear now
Understanding the order of my thoughts
It's about time I go to sleep
But not before I write down
What I'm trying to say
This is what I'm trying to say:
Pick and choose what to do
Do it well
Pick and choose what to do
And do it well
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11. |
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cuddledrug Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Rock band turned vehicle for advocacy.
www.cuddledrug.com
Love everyone.
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